Wednesday, November 5, 2008

You see, I have recently learnt driving. And it’s awesome. But being in Delhi a foul word here and there is normal while driving, especially when you have dumb-ass females thinking that the horn is just an extension of their freaking thumb and all the people on the roads will be as nice to them as their boyfriends. Anyway my girlfriend being as proactive as she is, soon realized that I had started using the F-word a lot while driving, so she came up with this wonderful idea that whenever I have something bad to say I should just say “OH”.

Isn’t it.

I love the idea. Its so creative, i mean just imagine guys. Just put yourself in the situation below:

Scene : A cab driver, overtakes u rashly.

Your original sentence (YOS) : B*********, M********, S**** K* G*****, %&#@*^#(&)#$)*)()%#&(*#&*. (currently you are not thinking anything else)

Girlfriend modified sentence (GMS) : “OH”, ………………………silence………….., (currently you are thinking about YOS and will keep thinking about till you finally say it and end up getting a rap from your girlfriend who knows this already and was waiting for you to revert to the YOS )

Apart form this, a lot of my friends are also surprised andamazed at me learning this amazing skill of driving , that too so soon in my life. All through college some of them alleged that I don’t know how to ride a geared bike also. But I was unfazed by all this as “ye sab to opposition ki chaal hai”, and I would like to thank the almighty for giving me strength and perseverance to learn a skill which I thought was limited to pimps like Hamilton. S** of a B**** won the freaking race. The B***** are taking over the world. Last week saw a B**** champion for F1 and now a B***** president for the country that is as racist as me.

Anyway getting back to the point after drifting a lot from it, see that’s the whole point of this blog, to recognize my potential to write crap and people reading it,, he he ,, got you. Anyway now seriously getting back to the point, here is a list of strengths and weaknesses for the now immensely popular YOS and GMS.



  • Immediate relief from the pain that is caused to you by the F*****.
  • Good for the brain and heart as the agony is turned into joy and fun.
  • The fun part exponentially increases with more male friends in the same vehicle.


  • Makes you look great in front of your girlfriend and other female companions.
  • Less vocab required, so less use of the right part of your brain.
  • Easy on your throat.
  • You might get a kiss, if its one of the better days.



  • Bad bad idea, if you are with someone from your family.
  • Slaps are constant when your girl is sitting with you.
  • Might end up in a fist fight if the guy you used the sentence to a "bihari". They are very sensitive to the hindi versions of the word mother and sister.
  • Very bad idea, if by chance the jerk ahead of you is your boss.


  • No sense of satisfaction.
  • Frustrating at times.
  • Very frustrating at times.
  • Very very frustrating at times.
  • Very very very frustrating at times.

I shall wrap up now, as I have to enGROSS myself in my work. Lol. :D. And ya if you want to add something to the above, click on the comment link below.


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