Monday, September 8, 2008

Shopping & Soaping

Before you read this, I am not a sexist. Its in reference to a certain section of our social environment.

This came to my mind when a friend of mine asked me for a topic to write on and somehow the only thing that came to my mind was “SHOPPING” , its one thing I don’t want to say in public but I go crazy and jumpy when I hear about shopping. The other half of the topic head is something that I have never been able to do or probably I never got a chance to do it and all of you with dirty thinking caps it’s not dirty at all. The term “SOAPING” here refers to the art of watching soaps on TV back to back till u get a back ache.

See the similarities are pretty simple:
  • Both involve a lot of time being wasted (which can be used wisely in things like play station, music)
  • Both activities are rigorously followed by women across the boundaries of nations. Probably female aliens also come to Dubai sometime for shopping.
  • Both are responsible to some extent in adding to the growing economy of India. (Talking about the retail boom and revival of television as a great media tool rather than the idiot-box)
  • Both have an equal number of guys hooked to them, probably more in some instances.
  • Both require a lot of patience and strain on your back. Proper study has to be done on ergonomics so people can live longer doing both the things.
  • Gujju Aunties (Last but not the least)

Ok now let’s see some conversations which I have overheard snooping around in malls and drawing rooms:

Scene 1: Two women, Mid thirties, have just discovered a very popular designer red blouse (just like some dude discovered Harappa civilization).

Woman 1: Oh my gawd, did u see this!! I had been looking for this since so so so long. I just can’t believe that I am getting just what I had wanted (Now notice here the so so so long seems as if she’s been looking for this piece even before she was born, and that its exactly what she wanted as if the list of wanted things is so small)

Woman 2: Oh!! How nice, really nice. (How the hell did she get that before me, I’ll try and dissuade her from buying this and I’ll pick it up later)

Woman 1: I just love the color and the design. (By design she means the fit and the styling)

Woman 2: Ya I know. But I think Mandy, has it already. Remember she wore it in Donkey’s birthday party. (What do you think woman, I am smarter than you)

Woman 1: Aww, now I can’t take this. This is so bad, why everything I want in life does get common so soon. (Shit, that bitch Mandy already took it, now I’ll sleep with her husband and her boyfriend too to get my revenge)

Woman 2: Its ok darling. We’ll definitely get something else. (Yipee, wow, oh my gawd she bought my shitty thought)

Woman 1: I know. Let’s check some lingerie; they always have some good stuff in that section. (My husband never minds me shopping for sexy lingerie, so let’s spend some money and time there)


Scene 2: A group of Women, Drawing room, Mixed age groups, discussing some episode of some saas bahu and beti drama.

Woman 1: Do you know what “KUNTI” did last time? (Watch the reference being made to Kunti (a vamp like character in “not less than an emmy nominated role” as a real life person)

Woman 2: Hey Bhagwaan, ye Kunti ko to family se bahar kar dena chahiye. (oh!! God, this woman kunti should be disowned by the family)

Woman 3: But I think ye saas-bahu to aise hi ladte hain, aur aise hi ladte rahenge, just like my saas hates me. (but I think the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law always fight like this, will keep on doing it till the end of time, just like my mother in law hates me)

Woman 4: That’s why I stopped watching these kinda shows altogether.

Woman 1 , Woman 2, Woman 3 , Woman 4, Woman 5 , Woman 6, Woman 7 , Woman 8, Woman 9 , Woman 10, Woman 11, Woman 12, Woman 13 , Woman 14, Woman 15 , ……… and all the women in the “SAAS BAHU FOREVER CLAN” : Gasp for a breather, and shout ,, what the hell do you do all day.

Woman 4: I watch “'Babul Ka Angan Chhootey Na', 'Sapna Babul Ka Bidaai', 'Ghar Ki Lakshmi Betiyaan', 'Amber Dhara', 'Radha Ki Betiyaan Kuch Kar Dikhayegi', 'Kis Desh Mein Hai Mera Dil' and 'Maayka'”

So that’s how these serials are the most vicious circle of events that never let anyone escape from them.

Anyway,,, lately I have realized that my blog has been all about bitching ,, “about people, to the people and on a for-people forum”. See it sounds so much like Government of India – “of the people, by the people and for the people”

Adios :)

1 Comment:

  1. Nuns, Yoginis, Saints and Guitarists said...
    The technologically challenged person that i am, i did not figure that u had posted ur comments..by the way as u can see i took ur comment pretty seriously abt reading wid a black background, by the way ur goli's of coming to mumbai wont help...i will believe u know only if i see u in flesh and blood:)
    p.s: dont u think ur too harsh on the opp 'sax'

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