Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bumps & Lumps

"goddammit, i have to go to office again" , i thought lazily crawling around in my bed. Trying to forget the world and its miseries.

Sounds Dramatic

The universal set of my life consists of a lot of things, but right now when am working my ass off as a 23 yr old, I think “my world” (current sub set to the universal set, which would include all the people, things & activities that I need most, to be) will be :

* my girlfriend {one person I really want to be with right now}
* my psp {one things I surely I can’t live without}
* friends and weekend trips {best part of life}
* my job {it pays for the above}
* sleeping till 11 in the morning {this one is like a distant dream}
* being on client site {interacting with people who have lesser IQ than a
brainless toad}
* travel because of work {its fun, but only the shorter trips}
* eating pizza with beer {this I do no matter where I am, except in Islamic
countries where latter becomes an issue}

The aforementioned are my life, but there are alongwith the bumps and the lumps. Bumps I would define as things which happen only when you think life is just

going perfect, e.g.

Act 1, Scene 1:
Description: You are in bed with your girl, telling her how you can see the pole star-like sparkle in her eyes when she’s with you, and your boss calls up and informs you about travel.

U: I have no words to describe how beautiful you look right now [has no idea about what should he say to make her feel good]
GF: mwwaahh .. [I know he is saying this so that we can make out, but I’ll lay for a while, lets see how much can he talk ;)]

The phone rings .. (the ringtone is "she’ll be loved")

BOSS: Hi XXXX (SOP 1 – talk in a casual tone, so that the poor guy doesn’t get startled on a Sunday)
U: Hi XXXX (what the hell)
BOSS: Are you free right now (SOP 2- Even if u r not, I’ll talk to u anyway)
U: Ya, got up a little while back (How the hell does it matter to you, blab now)
BOSS: You need to travel for this XXXX client tomorrow, I am getting ur tickets done by the morning flight (SOP 3- Morning flight means a 5 o’clock flight and

thts cuz its cheaper, cuz anyway time is not important, the client sucks big time)

BUMP

U: Ok (There it was, did u see the bump, it just hit u hard)
BOSS: I’ll am also traveling tomorrow but I’ll be back in 2-3 days. (SOP 5- try and console by telling that I am flying by business class on a 10 o’clock flight and I’ll be back before the weekend, cuz I have a personal life)
U: Ok (Still in the shock of the bump)
BOSS: Bye (SOP 6- HA HA HA HA, now that I have ruined your day, start packing)

Similarly, there are lumps, these I can define as the comforting gulps that you take in while breathing to come to terms with your life. e.g.

Act 1, Scene 2:
Description: You are sitting in a corner, with your head down, your girlfriend staring at you, in disbelief obviously.

GF: Hey, its ok, its your job after all (trying to console, and also talking to herself , “find yourself another one”)
U: I don’t know (he has no idea what to say and what not, really doesn’t know, its called the “bumped effect” worse than its brother “dumped effect”)
GF: Awww, come here, mwwaahh (she pulls you close and kisses you)

LUMP 1

U: I don’t know what would I do without you (this time he really means it, cuz he takes a lump inside and accepts that its ok to be bumped in life sometimes)
GF: I am there for you (lets see how long will I be, if it continues)

LUMP 2

U: I know, and I’ll look for a new job soon (still meaning what he says)
GF: mwwaahhh ( you are my superhero)

So this is how the bumps and lumps work for me, ya they may differ for everyone. But the bump and lump law says that “for every bump, there are atleast 2 or more opposite lumps”

1 Comment:

  1. Bittu said...
    ohh ... awesome !! purely too cool .....
    absolutely nailed it where it hurts -- the lumps.....

    I feel sometimes your lumps make you say things you mean momentarily ...

    but heck, whats life without lumps, as the bumps sure wont stop coming !!

    Keep up the good work !

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